Source: The Dawn Of Eternity
It was on 8th February 2012 when I felt dad might leave us ………just after 3:00 pm his breath starting disturbing reading of oxygen was shown very low on the display of apparatus that showed the oxygen level of the body. Dad was immediately displaced from the recovery ward to again Intensive care unit. I felt my head will divide into two parts; I was standing outside looking at the trees at the hospital courtyard, with the leaves moving by the slow breeze blowing. Frustration, anxiety and fear increased a lot ……………Great pressures should remind us that our only responsibility and our only protection, is to abide in Christ.
I saw dad has been more tranquil, but still somewhat irrational, how very helpless he looked, wrapped in his silent world of pain and isolation. He was in a realm where even, I who loved him so much, cannot enter. Dad’s natural strength was diminishing; he was so restless now and slept much of the day, locked in another dimension one cannot penetrate, none of us were able to communicate with him as dad’s condition appeared to be worsening. He was not able to communicate with us –but this does not mean that god was not able to communicate with him.
I was reminded of many healthy days and time spend with my dad, I found many times dad overcoming personal wounds and rejection from his childhood, workplaces, this sorrow went deep in his heart of course ; those who love God intensely often experience resentment and rejection from others, was the explanation narrated by him to me mostly when we had long time conversations, but I found for sure, dad had his love for Jesus Christ which was total as I have seen, he loved him …………even “unto death”. Each moments, days become very precious to me as I was known deep in my heart dad is about to flee from us. I remind my self of this very verse as I look upon dad’s body, so revenged by disease, I must look beyond, what is God’s word which always speak truth, Philippians 3:20- 21, our citizenship is in heaven. We are eagerly waiting for the savior, the lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies, so that they will be like his glorious body.
There comes a time in every person’s life when he must walk with god alone, there is within everyone of us a “holy of hollies” where only God can penetrate. In great measure dad was with God, Dad’s commitment to his lord is so total, that there is never any wavering in his obedience, once he is confident of “God is leading” …………so he agreed to follow his master’s call. On the morning of 16th February 2012, today it is almost a year, I am missing my sweet dad so much, along with my siblings and of course, his dearly grandchildren and mom.
Two prominent options were before me I can bog down in a quagmire of fear and sorrow and become a recluse, filled with self pity OR I can go forward and trust God to lead me. And I was determined well that I must fellow Christ now for our life and make our roots down, learn to live alone with God as companion and he guided by his will for life. At beginning life without dad I felt guilt when tears ran out condemning my self as a weak Christian with very little faith, but suddenly I was reminded of our lord Jesus who is filled with compassion and he is full of love he wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus, even knowing that he would raise him from grave. So I tend to turn to him when the waves of grief sweep over me. I realize that lord understands our grief and sooner the pain goes.
Memories rush and crowd, when I let them intrude into my mind, but I do believe and hope God’s purposes are best. Deep within me is the knowledge that I shall never be content nor fulfilled until I too learn to be an over comer, the pain is no less difficult but I find comfort in discovery seeking purposes.
Dad passed from death to life before he left this world, no one wants to die, not even to our lower nature that part of us which causes so much trouble but our eternal destiny is the issue. Willing to die here is to live eternally there. John 5:24 our lord’s terrific and tremendous assurance!!
On 18th February 2012, morning at Indian Evangelical church, behind friend’s colony at Nagpur, Pastor PD Joseph administrator of Mission India Bible college, led the joyous memorial service, in the presence of all the pastors of Nagpur, church members who supported him and a big crowd of his students along with we relatives, were able to give thanks for the life of this godly man.
Then it was over ………..our life together as dad and children.
I whispered in my heart dad you overcome and entered into the joy and rest you so wonderfully deserve, The dawn of eternity just begun , how richly you deserve the blessings prepared for you , how great is your gain how unbearable is our loss. Jesus is our resurrection and life……………..whoever believes in him will never die. (John 11:25)
Dad’s commitment to his lord is so total, that here is never any wavering in his obedience, once he is confident of God is leading.
It is not easy to say cast all your cares to God in a such a world where life is busy and is more dependable on new devices with technology. Apart from all the goodies which we have received in this new era, human being is empty.
The emptiness of created in our hearts most of the time in our life, which stimulates or mind to think who we are and for whom we are living. A great writer has written in his write ups that the human beings are craving of God himself the emptiness created in human will only be completed by God , I mean fellowship with Him and having right relationship with Him.
We can be attached with him easily , By reading his word and praying to him. Bible says , cast all your cares on him “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken”Psalms 55:22. We need to check our ways in what ways are we walking. We often show that we are walking in right path which is totally show off. God always like, first preference given to him. the verse in Bible says seek ye first the kingdom of and his righteous. So first is his priorities and he want it, is God too demanding…….. if yes than he also is very specific and strict in his relationship with us, word says He first loved us and in fact he loved us yet when we were still sinners.
Let us learn to educate us in thinking that, God has a plan for us and he will take care of us.